Getting a grip on anxiety and depression with ACT
Often, people think that in order to deal with their stress, anxiety, or depression, they need to get rid of difficult feelings and replace them with “good” ones. They might think to themselves, “If I could only get rid of this anxiety,” or “If only I didn’t feel so sad.” Of course, this would make things a lot easier.
In reality, however, getting rid of negative emotions is not only impossible but trying to do so often makes things worse. For example, trying to distract yourself from negative feelings by scrolling through social media, binging on Netflix, or having a few glasses of wine might work temporarily, but rarely do these behaviours leave us feeling content and accomplished long-term.
Acceptance and commitment therapy, often referred to as ACT, is an effective therapy for addressing several mental health difficulties, including stress, anxiety, and depression. ACT also focuses on engaging in behaviours to live a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Try these four ACT-based strategies to better manage your emotions and start living your best life:
- Stop resisting negative feelings—instead, make space for them.
Try to allow difficult feelings instead of fighting against them. Do your best to open up and make space for the feeling. Name the feeling and notice how it feels in your body. Recognize that the feeling will come and go in its own time.
- Don’t try to “talk back” to your negative thoughts—instead, “unhook” from them.
Take a step back from difficult thoughts and try to see them for what they really are – information that your brain is creating based on previous learning and habit.
Recognize that the thoughts may or may not be truthful or helpful. And while we can’t always get rid of these thoughts, we don’t have to give them our full attention. Treat challenging thoughts like you would a meddling friend or parent. Sometimes, you listen and make use of their ideas, and sometimes, you just let them talk without giving them too much of your time or energy.
- Identify your values and let them guide how you live your life.
Values are ideals we strive to meet on an ongoing basis. Unlike goals, values can never be checked off or marked as complete. For example, you can never say, “I am now a kind person; I don’t need to keep doing kind things anymore.”
But how do we know what our values are? The best way to figure this out is a little morbid. It involves thinking about what you want your closest family and friends to say about you at your funeral. Do you hope they will say that you were adventurous and courageous? Independent and reliable? Kind and compassionate? Whatever you choose, those are the values that are most important to you. Use them to guide how you want to live your life.
- Try not to live in the past or the future—rather, focus on being present in the moment.
Intentionally focus your attention on what is happening right now. Whether it be savouring your morning cup of coffee, noticing a beautiful sunset, or even just listening intently to a friend, being present allows us to make the most of the world around us. Being present also allows us to step back from our thoughts and allow our feelings more easily. And it increases the likelihood that we will catch ourselves when we are behaving out of line with our values so we can do something different.
So, according to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, the key to living the best life you can is allowing difficult feelings, unhooking from difficult thoughts, making moves toward your values, and being present for all life has to offer. And while this isn’t always easy, it can help make life much more worthwhile!
